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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714888">Bittersweet Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona'>grossnoona</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gentle Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Ritsu is a dummy head like big time, Romantic Fluff, They kind of make out for a second, Valentine's Day Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:53:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22714888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>February 14</i>, Ritsu has that date marked on his calendar. He stares at it as the days draw closer. He has to prepare soon enough. He has to do it. He promised himself to do it seriously this time.</p><p>If he doesn’t, how else is he going to get the message across?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isara Mao/Sakuma Ritsu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bittersweet Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><i>double upload bc I like romance</i><br/>that aside, this stupid thing has been in my goddamn drafts since november and I've been saving for valentine's!!<br/>again, it's late here but it's still valentine's day so I'm going to upload it anyway!<br/>I love confessions, it's smth I enjoy imagining but <i><b>hate doing</b></i> skjdknsd<br/>anyway, I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chocolates―That’s something Ritsu has long been good at making. He should have some form of confidence in making those kinds of things, right? Ritsu sighs as he stares at the mess he has made in the kitchen. That confidence isn’t really present with how little trust he has in the chocolate in the metal bowl. It looks nothing and tastes nothing like he wanted them to. Why is that? Ritsu doesn’t know. Ritsu wished he knew, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wishes he had the time to mop about this but he doesn’t. The clock is ticking and he has to head to bed soon. There’s no time to cry over this disaster. Sure, these chocolates didn’t come out perfect but at least he tried his best, right? That’s all that matters, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu stares quietly at the chocolates he made.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know, to be honest.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Ritsu doesn’t really sleep. His heart weighs heavily in his chest. Chocolates aside, will those messy feelings in him be properly conveyed? Ritsu wonders. A really pessimistic side of Ritsu doubts so. Mao would reject Ritsu, right? Or maybe he’ll consider these chocolates as nothing but a friendly gesture? Ritsu wonders deeply as he clutches tightly to his pillow. Conveying feelings isn’t easy. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Especially</span>
  </em>
  <span> when those feelings can get easily lost in translations on days like Valentine’s day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu is definitely going to have a hard time tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu isn’t supposed to care about things like this. Ritsu is supposed to be indifferent to romantic events like Valentine’s day. Ritsu isn’t supposed to be feeling like his entire heart will leap out and run away from him, every single time his eyes catch Mao’s hands get filled with chocolates from other people. Ritsu isn’t supposed to be shoving that box of chocolates deep into his bag, every time his ears pick up the sound of Mao’s laughter coupled with the words; </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks, Happy Valentine’s day to you too</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Ritsu isn’t supposed to care about things like this. Ritsu is supposed to not give a damn about Valentine’s day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu chuckles pathetically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These feelings are eating him whole, huh? How pathetic. Ritsu wished things were as easy as they are in dramas. Ritsu always knew that they were never </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> easy but Ritsu would like them to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t given it, haven’t you?” Arashi asks as Ritsu groans against the table. He wished things were easy but it never was. Mika passes Ritsu a sweet as Arashi nags Ritsu about how Ritsu will lose his chance and those chocolates will remain frozen solid in his fridge if he doesn’t give them </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Ritsu is aware of that but catching Mao is a lot harder than one thinks. For one thing, Mao has been up and running </span>
  <em>
    <span>all fucking day</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Ritsu doesn’t even know how people are catching him to give him chocolates, Ritsu is personally amazed and this is coming from the idiot that is almost always attached to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yea but you ain’t attached to him now?” Mika points out as Ritsu hits his forehead against the door. No, he isn’t. It’s unfortunate that he isn’t. Is it unfortunate? Not really, actually. Ritsu doesn’t have to face all those other little admirers that Mao has given him chocolates, thinking maybe Mao will accept their feelings one day. Ritsu is aware Mao won’t because Mao is </span>
  <em>
    <span>too busy</span>
  </em>
  <span> to attempt to date. Or at least that’s what he always says. Maybe Ritsu is giving himself false hope for thinking those kinds of mean thoughts. He doesn’t mean it, he swears. He mentally apologises to those who like Mao. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though Ritsu says all of that, has Ritsu actually tried to call out to Mao at all? Not really. Ritsu has barely made an effort in trying to get Mao. If anything, all Ritsu has been doing is swiftly avoiding Mao. An anxious part of him is afraid of facing Mao with these messy, cluttered feelings while another pessimistic part of him assumes Mao has already gotten chocolates from somebody he likes. Mao wouldn’t want Ritsu’s chocolates because why would he? He already has them all the time so these chocolates will just do nothing but take up space in his fridge, right? Ritsu wants to be hopeful, really but it’s just so hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What makes you think Mao-chan likes someone else?” Arashi asks as she pours a cup of tea for Mika. The weather is definitely greying like Ritsu’s feelings. God, he sounds pathetic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu sighs. Isn’t it obvious? That guy has a type and it’s cute and humble hard workers. He doesn’t really like people like Ritsu who are bratty, loud and hard to satisfy. They take too much of his time and never give anything back. There’s nothing good about someone like Ritsu. Ritsu is aware of that. Mao won’t like people like Ritsu. That’s just a pipe dream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mika doubts Mao hates Ritsu, though? Arashi wonders if Mao would even reject Ritsu because if that were the case, he wouldn’t be friends with Ritsu for this long. Those heavy thoughts that weigh Ritsu down are nothing but lies, if anything. Ritsu should at least try to give those chocolates to Mao.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Besides, if things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to―we’re just one message away, okay?” Arashi tries to reassure Ritsu who looks at his friends with a sad smile. He’s glad that they’re just as prepared as he is when it comes to getting rejected. Though it’s pretty morbid to be thinking of rejection rather than acceptance, he’s glad that he has support.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu finds himself staring at his phone. Ritsu asked Mao if they could meet in the music room. It is, after all, Ritsu’s small little haven from the rest of the school. When the world becomes too much, Ritsu hides in the music room until everything has subsided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Though, now is pretty different, right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of running away from his fears, he’s luring them into the one place that gives him comfort. He’s luring all of his fears to come to find him. He’s considering telling Mao that it’s no big deal if he can’t make it but the timing is too far from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ok</span>
  </em>
  <span> sticker he received. It’s too late now. He has to face his fears whether he likes it or not. He can’t let all that worry just stop him from properly confessing his feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah―It’s raining.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing about this is romantic. It’s pouring heavily. It’s in a dark music room far from everyone else. Ritsu’s chocolates look terrible and Ritsu is currently huddling into a ball, underneath the piano as he covers his ears from the sound of thunder. All of this looks pathetic, actually. Ritsu wants Mao to not show up but Mao would never leave Ritsu like that, right? Mao is not that awful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu sighs as he stares at his shoes. It’s no use in assuming anything. All Ritsu can do now is wait until the rain subsides so he can finally go home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu doesn’t know how long he’s been waiting but it’s long enough till he had fallen asleep and woken up to Mao crouching in front of Ritsu. What was he doing there? Ritsu couldn’t quite figure it out until he realised; </span>
  <em>
    <span>right, he asked Mao to visit him in the music room</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He forgot about that, Ritsu thought as he eyed the paper bag that rested next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao laughs as he calls Ritsu, foolish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s going on?” Mao asks as he stays crouched in front of Ritsu. Like they’re hiding from their peers and have taken refuge underneath the piano like stupid children. Ritsu doesn’t understand this fool. He goes along with Ritsu’s antics even if Ritsu doesn’t mean it like that at all. It leaves Ritsu’s heart fluttering softly whenever he hears Mao giggle at their situation. It’s hard to not fall in love with someone like Mao, honestly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All this warmth doesn’t scare the feeling of rejection, though. Ritsu wishes it did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ma-kun, I―</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu fidgets on the spot as he looks at the paper bag. It really is now or never, right? Ritsu can’t bear the idea of leaving things like this alone anymore. He has to bite the bullet. There’s no point in hiding his feelings anymore. Even as unromantic the situation may be, Ritsu has to make do. He’ll be okay if he’s rejected. He’ll be okay if he’s rejected. He’ll be okay. Ritsu chants that as he grabs the paper bag and squeezes those clumsy feelings out of his pathetic throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu says as he places the bag in Mao’s hands. He fumbles with his words as he tries to explain to Mao that he doesn’t have to accept them. Ritsu won’t feel hurt if Mao doesn’t even want the chocolates either. They’re nothing special, really. Ritsu will just melt all the chocolate and turn them into something, maybe. He can think of something. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking awkward</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ritsu thought as his mentally screams into the next century. God, it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> awkward. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking pathetic</span>
  </em>
  <span> too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu watches Mao take out the box of chocolate. It scares Ritsu when Mao doesn’t respond as quickly as Ritsu wants him to. Why isn’t he saying anything? Ritsu can’t find a concrete answer to that. All he knows is Mao is going to try and eat those shitty pieces of chocolates. Why? Ritsu doesn’t know, to be honest. Maybe he wanted to make Ritsu feel better. It’s not really helping him feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you don’t have to eat the chocolates―</span>
  <em>
    <span>they’re probably not that good―</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao kisses Ritsu. His mouth tasted bittersweet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu hears Mao hum for a moment. Ritsu is left sitting there in embarrassment―</span>
  <em>
    <span>did he just kiss Ritsu with chocolate in his mouth?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ritsu couldn’t help but feel red and warm from such a gesture. Mao licks his lips a little before saying that it was good. He liked Ritsu’s chocolates a whole lot. It might even be a new favourite </span>
  <em>
    <span>and that’s saying something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mao isn’t much of a sweets-kind of person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“Though, I might need to try it again after trying the others―y’know, just to make sure that </span><em><span>this one</span></em> <em><span>is my favourite</span></em><span>.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao is a tease. Ritsu hates it. Ritsu’s brain short-circuits every time Mao does something flirtatious like this. He can’t help but turn red when Mao tries it again when he tries out all these chocolates he’s received by other people during Valentine’s. He keeps saying it never tastes as good as they do unless it’s coming from Ritsu’s mouth. Ritsu turns really red as his back is pressed against the piano’s legs, exchanging kisses with chocolate in their mouths. Ritsu breaks away too quickly each time they kiss, Mao laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ritchan</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’m not going to eat you,” Mao laughs as Ritsu shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao is too mean. He makes Ritsu try all of these chocolates just so he can taste them through kissing. Even then, he gives up after the 4th box he was given that day. Mao found himself tracing shapes on Ritsu's back as he kissed Ritsu with more force. Ritsu doesn't know why but it's hard to get used to this. Ritsu knew Mao as someone daring but not to this extent. He can’t help but be red all over. He’s embarrassed to the tip of his ears. Ma-kun is a demon, Ritsu swears. He didn’t expect any of this to happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao laughs as he puts away the chocolates. He didn’t mean to be so awful to Ritsu. He was just teasing the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though Mao throws that joke in the air, Ritsu still doesn’t know how to feel about all of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a weighted silence as the rain offers its own piece of mind. Even though Mao did all of that, Ritsu doesn’t know how Mao feels about Ritsu’s confession at all. Does Mao think it’s all just fun and games? Does Mao not like Ritsu </span>
  <em>
    <span>that way?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Is Mao just trying to let Ritsu down with ease through kissing even though he doesn’t like Ritsu? Ritsu doesn’t know, really. It’s terrible that he can’t find an answer in Mao at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re supposed to understand each other better than anyone else but it’s failing terribly right here, right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao offers Ritsu a wet tissue as he wipes his own mouth with one. Mao apologises for earlier. He didn’t mean it, he swears. He knows Ritsu is probably going to label him as a sleazy bastard for forcing Ritsu into some weird make out session that involved eating chocolates in between. Ritsu might even call him a kinky bastard for all he cares </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s glad that Ritsu confessed. He really is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao never really had the guts to properly confess to Ritsu. Let alone on Valentine’s day but Ritsu did. It’s amazing that Ritsu chose Valentine’s day of all days to confess. Maybe Ritsu is starting to enjoy stupid occasions like this? Mao laughs as Ritsu throws the dirty wet tissue at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m serious―I’m glad that this isn’t one-sided.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao holds Ritsu hand as he leans in to kiss Ritsu once more. Ritsu makes a small noise as he tries to readjust himself. He tries to return the same amount of force as Mao but it fails as Mao reaches out to hold Ritsu’s back again. When they break off for a gasp of air, Mao smiles softly at Ritsu who probably is already red enough. Isn’t he tired of teasing Ritsu? Probably not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Can I date you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao whispers that as he leans his forehead against Ritsu’s. In this quiet music room that is known as Ritsu’s little haven, the loudest noise made was Ritsu’s laughter as he smiles brightly at Mao. He nods happily as Mao brushes Ritsu’s hair aside. Yes, Mao can be Ritsu’s boyfriend. Ritsu would want that. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A whole lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao laughs as Ritsu holds tightly to Mao. He’s glad that Ritsu said yes. He really is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao drags Ritsu from underneath the piano, it’s getting late. They should head home. Ritsu laughs as Mao talks about how much he actually likes Ritsu’s chocolates. He didn’t expect Mao to go so in-depth about the taste; bittersweet just how he likes them. The only way to get him to eat sweet things is to make them bittersweet like how Ritsu makes them. Ritsu hums and wonders if Mao will only eat Ritsu’s chocolates from now on? Mao might if Ritsu ever makes them again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you put in them anyway?” Mao asks as Ritsu leans against his shoulder. What made them bitter? Ritsu tries to remember as he digs deeper into Mao’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Coffee maybe? Ritsu recalls making a cup of espresso before deciding that he can just dump it into the chocolate mix. It’s not like he drinks his coffee black anyway. Mao laughs as Ritsu talks about how tired he was throughout the entire process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a small minute, Mao stops in his tracks. Ritsu looks at him confusedly. Did he forget something at school? It doesn’t seem like it. Did he realise something about their conversation? Ritsu wondered. Though, there’s nothing out of the ordinary in their conversation? Maybe to Ritsu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ritsu, are you aware coffee and chocolates are aphrodisiacs?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aphrodisiacs? Where has Ritsu learnt that word? What does it mean again? It’s something related to sex, right? Something about increasing sexual desire or something like that. Ritsu shrugs as Mao looks at him in disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ritsu, were you trying to make a real-life love potion?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ritsu shrugs. Maybe. Hey, if he really did try, he would have asked Natsume for help. Well, it doesn’t matter. Even if he did make a real-life love potion, it worked anyway because Mao is Ritsu’s boyfriend now. That’s all that matters, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mao’s laughter rings in Ritsu’s ears as he feels Mao’s arm snake around his waist. He feels a kiss on the crown of his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to make a love potion for me, Ritchan―You just looking at me is already enough for me to fall head over heels for you.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>as always, mao is a pervert while ritsu was being p honest that he dumped his hot coffee into his chocolate on reflex bc he was just too tired to function as a normal human being at that point of the night (if u think, this sounds like personal experience, to an extent, it is)<br/>at least all that effort was worth it!<br/>thank you for reading and I hope you had fun!<br/>(if you want you can talk to me on twt <a href="https://twitter.com/drunkossan">@drunkossan</a>)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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